Settlin'

"I ain't settlin' for just getting by
I've had enough so-so for the rest of my life "
- Sugarland

***

The answer is very simple.

It can be true.

If I believe it.

***

I have a hypothesis on our Mental Health crisis.

I don't think a lot of people are living the way they want to live.

I say this in a very general, macro sense that does not address the 5-10% of rare brain disorders - (borderline personality, schizophrenia, extreme bipolar, etc) - but rather the vast majority of increasing depression and anxiety challenges.

I believe there is a direct link between how we live and the state of our mental well-being.

The decline in our mental health has coincided with an increase in consumerism, keeping up with societal influences, technology's unreasonable expectations, a faster pace, fast food, extreme fatigue, longer commutes, overextending our means and continually meeting instantaneous demands.

We are permanently "on", our only mode being "fight or flight",  likely causing some level of inflammation throughout every cell, including our brains.  We grasp for approval and acceptance through external channels, spending very little time alone to reflect or allowing our path to organically unfold.

Misaligned, under nourished, over fatigued and heavily stressed, it is no surprise our mental wiring has gone a little wonky.

To be clear, I have never doubted the validity of our mental health challenges, I have only ever questioned our role in unintentionally creating them, by the many factors in how we live and our traditional belief system.  Anxiety and depression seem to creep up on us, as signals that change is needed, or that we are misaligned in some way or another.

I wish I could say I understood the increase with our children, but I haven't studied enough of it to fairly comment.  Environmental toxins, nutrients, technology and societal shifts may all pose as part of the problem.

I do believe the essential key to living well and staying well is to write the script of how we want our lives to look and then evaluate all the obstacles in the way of achieving it - until what we're left with, is that our vision has become reality.

Or our sanity.

Whichever way you would like to look at it.

***

This was the script I used to recite growing up.

When I grow up, I will go to University and get a good paying "stable" job.   Then I will get married and have two kids, one girl and one boy, and maybe a dog.  (Highly unlikely).  I will work hard for many years, taking a family vacation to Florida in the Winter and the Caribbean on March Break and I will dream of retirement.   When I retire, I will do all sorts of traveling and crossword puzzles and then I will be a great grandparent and enjoy my family until I die.  

Because that's what you do.

That's what life is.

Isn't it?

What if that script doesn't work for me?

I'm not saying that it's wrong or that it doesn't work for loads of other people.  All I'm saying is that, maybe, we don't all fit that mold.  And if I try and jam myself into that mold, maybe I won't feel so well.

Maybe.

I'm willing to bet that if I interviewed a million people with anxiety disorders and depression, that I would find patterns of similarity of unfulfilled dreams, discontentment with the work they do,  regretted past behavior resulting in shame, guilt and low self worth and a belief system that has left them stuck and miserable, feeling like they don't fit in or somehow failed.

***

I watched a Ted Talk video recently on the discovery of a powerful euphoric drug called "Calypsol".

The lead researcher on the team, stumbled across this common "elated" feeling as an accidental side effect to the participants in a trial, as many discoveries are found.

She spoke about antidepressants, and the reality that, yes, they help many people with symptoms, but do not address the cause, without combined intensive cognitive therapy.

What fascinated me was that the drug she was discussing would take things to a new level.

Instead of medicating the "symptoms", we would "vaccinate" against the disease.

Where this would be tremendous, of course, is with our first responders; or any of those who are placed into situations that see the worst of humanity, and who are challenged with periods of PTSD or suffer dehabilitating depression.  To be able to prevent illness from forming in these human beings would be amazing.

Where I struggle with this though, is the generic thought that we need to vaccinate our society against anxiety and depression.

Are you kidding me??

How about we fix the freaking problem?  

How about that?

How about we dig deep within ourselves and re-align with what we want to do, where we want to be, how we want to behave and how we want to live?

How about we study the "why" on why these cases have become such an epidemic and put solutions in place to minimize or eliminate the symptoms of anxiety and depression, rather than medicate the entire next generation?

I'm not buying that we need to vaccinate the entire world.

I just can't buy it.

There has to be a way we can change the future, right down to the teens, the kids and the younger generations that follow.

Anxiety and depression are symptoms of a bigger problem.  I don't believe our people are broken.  I believe our society is.

We need to recognize that our traditional beliefs and way of operating are outdated and just might not be effective anymore.

And we need to dig much deeper and invite the possibility that there must be a shift that's required to move humanity forward towards contentment and fulfillment.

***

It starts with the exercise of creating a vision, unblocking talents and buried ideas about how we truly want to thrive in life - and then taking steps towards that reality and believing it's possible.

***

There's a real magical thing about the wiring in our brains.

It can change.

We can actually re-program it.  We can build new cells and stimulate growth.

Yes, we can use medication to help us in the process.

We can also use supplements, nutrition, exercise, meditation - all doing their part.

But we can also activate areas of our brain by visualizing.

We can create a picture of what it is we want every single day of our life to look like.

We can see it, feel it, imagine it.

Visualization activates parts of the brain, no differently than if it was "real" and taking place.

There have been studies done on mental health where patients literally "visualized themselves well" and through this exercise, got better.

In essence, then, this activity alone produces serotonin and feel good hormones, that help us feel better.

Create.   
Visualize.
Believe.

***

You know that old saying, "fake it til you make it"?

If our thoughts and beliefs become our reality, then we need to focus as much conscious attention as we can to adding positivity and a vision to our thoughts and beliefs.

When I first started reading about affirmations, I thought they were kind of hokey.

So I just start saying "I am" before things and they come true?

Meh, I'm not so sure about that.

The more I study habits of successful people, mental wellness "recovery" and emotional healing, they all seem to mention this though, over and over.

Write the affirmations you want to be associated with you and repeat them every day, as often as possible.

In the beginning, it may very well seem hokey.

But just like that old saying, "fake it til you make it", one day you wake up and by some small grace,  it's all starts to resonate as true.

What if affirmations are a significant part of the journey to "emotional health"?

What if they support our big picture of how we want to live?

What if they can actually help us re-wire our brains?

***

I write mine out every morning.

I am safe.
I am loved.
I am protected.

I am calm.
I am confident.
I am balanced.

I am curious.
I am inquisitive.
I am open to new possibilities.

I am healthy.
I am aligned with purpose.
I am at peace.

I am paving the way.
I am challenging beliefs.
I am inspiring change.

I am a writer.
I am a speaker.
I am a coach.

I am transforming.
I am healing.
I am well.

***

Create.
Visualize.
Believe.